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Delmont’s Slang Blade

Delmont’s Slang Blade is a collection of sayings heard in Alabama and the South for a 100 years. With the decline of the southern agricultural culture, many of these sayings will be lost to future generations.

The sayings have been categorized so that they are easy to find and so one can find a saying for a particular situation that will add humor and punch to a conversation or writing, even though it may mark the user as a little countrified.

Each category is prefaced by a short introductory story based on the author’s own experience and life in Alabama.




Our high school principal believed in God...and he thought he was Him. Success had not only gone to his head, it had gone to his mouth too. An old song talks about Jesus walking on the water, and Mr. H. wanted to do a little walking too.

He did crazy things like eating fried chicken legs with a knife and fork. And instead of sweet iced tea, he drank hot tea in a cup with a little baggie hanging over the side.

Delmont’s daddy confronted him one day, “You ain’t from around here are you?

Mr. H. replied, “Your grammar is atrocious and I resent the tone of your voice. You Southerners should improve your education and manners.”

 “Where you from Buddy?”

“I’m from Chicago. My wife is from here and she dragged me to this God forsaken redneck town.”

“Well, if you don’t like it here in Vernon, go to Birmingham, I-65 goes north to Chicago all gosh dern day long.”



The higher thuh monkey climbs, the more he shows his behind.

He wouldn't go to a funeral unless he could be the corpse.

If you get to thinkin' you're so important, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

One good thang about stuck up people, they don't never talk about nobody else.

Tyrone thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow.

Cal was cooler than the center of a cucumber.

Ain't no conceit in your family, you got it all.

Sally’s stuck up higher than a light-pole.

Rickey is ah legend in his own time…I mean mind.




Tales of Oak Hill

Tales of Oak Hill is the story of Birmingham told through narrative by the residents buried at Oak Hill Cemetery, the oldest cemetery in Birmingham founded in 1871. It also is designed to be a guidebook for a walking tour of the cemetery.

The book starts with a history of Jones Valley before there was a Birmingham. It addresses the Native Americans who lived in the Valley like the Woodland, Mississippi and Creek (Muskogee) Indians. It discusses the Indian wars led by General Andrew Jackson. It contains an interesting anecdote about Davy Crockett and how he almost died in the area.

The book also contains stories about the founding of Elyton, the first County seat of Jefferson County after Alabama became a state in 1819. It then discusses how the area developed through the Civil War and up to the founding of Birmingham.

After the historical introduction, each page contains a narrative in the words of the person buried at the cemetery or a narrative of a friend or relative who knew their life. Learn about the coal and iron Barons like Col. James Sloss, Henry Debardeleben and John Milner. Learn about Charles Linn, a Civil War blockade runner who opened the first bank in Birmingham. Read the life of Birmingham’s famous Madame, who became a local hero. Other interesting people include; Alabama Governors, a Titanic survivor, an Austrian nobleman, a Revolutionary war soldier and Fred Shuttlesworth, a historic civil rights figure.


Pearls of Pauline

Pearls of Pauline is a collection of stories based on the life of Pauline Langley, the author’s mother. When Pauline was restricted to a nursing home in Vernon Alabama, the author and his daughter would stimulate conversation by interviewing Pauline about events in her life over the 90 years that she lived in small town Alabama.

The author took these interviews and added his own humor and embellishments to give a picture of what it was like growing up and living in rural Alabama. The stories were published In Tombigbee Magazine and were well received by the readers in Northwest Alabama.


Birmingham Roots: Two Birmingham Historical Tours

This Is a Guidebook containing a Birmingham Civil Rights Tour and a Founding of Birmingham tour.


The Civil Rights Tour is designed as a tour taken by van or bus, with stops along the way, to various historic Black Culture/Civil Rights locations in Birmingham. It includes Tuxedo Junction, a famous jazz club; Rickwood Field, the oldest baseball park in the United States; Dynamite Hill; Birmingham jail where Martin Luther King wrote his famous letter about nonviolent protest; Ollie’s Barbecue, a famous Supreme Court case; the Negro League Baseball Museum; Penny Savings Bank, the largest African-American bank in the United States at one time; the bus station where the Freedom Riders were beaten; AG Gaston motel where civil rights leaders stayed; the Park where Birmingham police used water hoses and police dogs during the children’s march; 16th St., Baptist Church, The Civil Rights Institute and the historic Black Business District.


The founding of Birmingham is a tour taken by van or bus, with stops along the way, to points of interest in historic Birmingham. It includes the Vulcan statue and Museum, Morris Ave.; Sloss furnace; The Heaviest Corner on Earth; historic buildings along 1st, 2nd and 3rd Ave., North; a hotel with a dirigible docking station; The Lyric and Alabama Theater; Loveman’s; Bon Ton Hatters; Jim Reed’s Bookstore, St. Paul’s church, Linn Park, Oak Hill Cemetery and more.

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